Steve questioned if at 45 years-old he could really reinvent himself and keep his family together. He was scared that working hard to succeed in a new venture would create the same problem of being away from his family. He couldn’t see how he could manage a change in career or even start a business when this typically required a lot of money and generated big overheads.
How would he show up and provide and still be there for his family?
He feared that even if he pursued a new venture, after it he may lose support from his wife. He didn’t know where to start nor did he have the “know how” about a new path or building a business. He feared he wouldn’t have the support to learn and apply what he needs to.
In Steve’s mind, he had three options at this point:
#1. get a second job to provide and “get ahead”
#2. start his own traditional business. But he would have to figure out how to borrow a large sum of money and be tied to a geographical location and spend years growing the business
#3. quit his job and find another higher paying contract. But this wouldn’t provide him with a fulfilled life and he’s tired of building somebody else’s dreams…
But he knew deep down that none of these options would solve the problem
Either by giving him the time he wanted with his family or the fulfillment he was seeking. The fear of losing his family, his happiness, his identity, and his self-worth is not an option to continue to spiral downwards. Making the change was not as fearful now that he could see that everything he loved was on the line. He must change. Steve knows that. He is committed to changing or else he fears he will lose his family. If his lifestyle continued, he is sacrificing his happiness and even his health. The stress is immobilizing him and causing patterns of escape.
Ten years ago, Steve was mentally and physically fit. But if he continued to go down the path he was currently on, his health was at risk and he may not actually be around for as long as he wanted. If he didn’t change he faced (in his mind) his friends laughing at him when they got together. And his wife even having an affair with a more “suitable” man. This would all reinforce his self-loathing mindset confirming the story of fear that he isn’t really good enough.
Steve started researching mindset and personal development online. He was looking for inspiration from people like Tony Robbins, Rich Rolls, Robert Kiyosaki and many spiritual teachers. He experienced a lightbulb moment and realized that he’d forgotten who he truly was. He was chasing things he didn’t value anymore which had led to a massive spiral away from his own power.
He discovered that people were creating a whole new way of living and creating a living online. He watched a video about a tradesman who was in a similar situation to him. In the video, he explained how you could learn marketing skills and get paid by sending customers to other businesses. He also learned that he could sell products online on such platforms like Amazon or eBay without having to leave home.
Steve knew that the internet was powerful and businesses were using it as a tool, but he didn’t know exactly how he could do it or even what his options were. As he kept consuming more videos and content he realized that there were educational platforms and communities that taught this to people who have never done it before. He knew this could be the answer but he knew he didn’t have the skills or experience to build it. Self-doubt was still looming.
Steve’s biggest obstacle was believing that he could do it
And actually learn the skills on how to build an online business. He’d never forget what was said in a webinar he attended about how people use fear to stay safe and it’s when we face that fear we have what we truly want. Because that’s what stops everyone from living the life we choose life…fear which isn’t real. It’s just a story of what could go wrong and it’s disempowering.
You have to learn new skills, overcome your own limiting beliefs and challenges and take action to change your life. He recognized he was rarely living in the present moment, always reflecting on the pain of the past and fear of the future. This shifted his confidence about the journey.